10 Simple Selfie Rules to Not Look Like a Dick
I understand that for many selfies are the best (or only) way to capture that perfect family holiday photo, for solo travellers it may be the only way to immortalize your hard-earned holiday, or you may be the only person in your entourage that enjoys being in photos.
Whatever the reason, I understand why people will defend their selfies until their dying day. And so you should! Just as I will defend my stance on selfie-hatred. Whatever your position in this debate, we have all seen people behaving inappropriately on the journey to snap that perfect holiday pic.
So, I have come up with a set of guidelines to help the avid selfie-taker maintain a basic level of decency, dignity, and respect.
1) Is there a sign, verbal instruction, or law clearly stating that selfies or photography is not allowed? Yes. Don’t take a selfie.
2) Did someone die in this location? Yes? Don’t take a selfie.
3) Is this a memorial or site of remembrance for victims of an atrocity or disaster? Yes? Don’t take a selfie.
4) Is this a site of cultural or religious importance to the locals? Unsure? Ask. Yes? Don’t take a selfie.
5) Will taking this picture cause inconvenience, harm, or potential death to myself or others? Oh, it will? Don’t take a selfie.
6) Will this selfie cause my travel companions to be tempted to leave me for dead? 100% yes? Don’t take a selfie.
7) If I take a picture of myself here could it end up on a website with headlines “This Is What Is Wrong with Humanity’ or ‘Tourist Offends Entire Nation with Selfie’. Yes? Don’t take a selfie.
8) Is this a human being who is having a rougher time than me, i.e. homeless, a victim of atrocity, an orphaned child? Oh, they are? Don’t take a selfie.
9) Is this animal living a life of pain and misery in captivity? It is? Don’t take a selfie.
10) Will this picture generally make me look like a bit of a self-absorbed, egotistical wanker? Yes? Don’t take a fucking selfie.
There you have it; ten easy ways to make sure that you look dignified, cool, and fun in your vacation photos while definitively NOT looking like an arsehole.